TaupeOpera

BLOAP#62 EyeCandy

Skye watched as the paparazzi descended on Marjorie's prone form in Jesse's arms.  Jesse looked over at Skye and mouthed, "Help me."  Skye shook her head and pushed the paparazzi out of the way as Jesse picked Marjorie up and carried her back to her room.  Skye led them into the room and then stood against the door to lock it as the flashbulbs popped.

Marjorie opened her eyes and looked straight at Skye, "Dahlin, let that piece of Tijuana trash try to outdo that!  Now, who is this delectable piece of eye candy and where have you been hiding him?" Before Skye could say that the man, candy or no was not hers Marjorie was off and running.  Marjorie  stuck her hand out and grabbed Jesse's hand "Thank you so much for your assistance, you must come to my wedding.  It's going to be the event of the year, once a few kinks are ironed out."  Marjorie looked at Skye, "How are those kinks going precious?"

Skye thought if there were any more kinks in her life she could hire herself out as a human accordian.  She'd just have to ask her friend Michael Harris, musician extrodinaire for help.

BLOAP#61: Drive bye bye

Will looked out of the car window as he drove by the hospital and wondered what the heck was going on.  There was a huge crowd outside and what looked like dozens of photographers.  Will shook his head as he turned the corner and almost jumped out of the drivers seat.  His cell phone had fallen between his legs, Will picked up the phone "Get over here Will, I need your help" Zora shrieked.  Will  shook his head and turned his car around, "Next life, I'm an only child"

BLOAP:60: Hospital Hussy

Skye looked at Jesse "Don't tell me you're  into conspiracy theories?" she said as she pushed her way into the hospital.  "Why are you here anyway, were you once married to Marjorie?" she said laughing.  Jesse looked at her and smiled sheepishly, Skye stopped walking, "Oh my God were you, were  you married to her?  When, why don't we know that?"  Jesse laughed, as he watched Skye hyperventilate "I was here getting some shots, I'm flying to India next week."  Skye calmed down, "Oh, thank you Goddess.  India, wow, great don't tell Marjorie, she'll have you bring back some fabric or the Taj Majal."

Marjorie looked at herself in the four mirrors surrounding the bed.  She looked great, too great, that Gwennifer looked like she'd been rode hard and put away wet.  The photographers were eating her up.   It was ridiculous , that woman had the acting ability of driftwood and was as attractive as a sharpei but for some reason the camera loved her.  Marjorie cracked her door open and looked out, the paparazzi were camped out in front of that hussy's door.  Marjorie opened the door and walked out, the photographers started snapping her limping halting walk.  She spotted Skye and a very handsome man, perfect just perfect.

Marjorie walked toward Skye put her arms out to her and fainted in a dead heap on the floor.

BLOAP#59: Socialite Sidewalk Jungle

The attending doctor at General Hospital couldn't believe his misfortune.  How the hell did he get stuck on the shift that had both superstar Gwennifer Topez and super socialite Marjorie Post Bienvenue Armstrong Kilpatrick de la Hoya.  Both of them had fallen down  the stairs, unfortunately for Ms. Topez she had provided the buffer for Mrs. de la Hoya.  Gwennifer was under sedation with bruises and contusions to her face and back, a concussion and improbably a stiletto stab wound in the back.  Mrs. de la Hoya had sprained her wrist, had a nasty bruise on the side of her face but was relatively unscathed.

Too bad the doctor couldn't say that for the hospital staff, the paparazzi were making the front of the hospital look like a pie giveaway at a fat farm.  Each woman had handlers, entourage and lawyers crowding their respective rooms.  The police were interviewing witnesses in the waiting room because before she passed out Ms. Topez had pointed a cracked and bleeding fingernail at Mrs. de la Hoya and screamed "That banshee tried to kill me."  The doctor searched in his pocket for the antidepressants that he kept hidden away, he came up with a lint covered lifesaver and seven cents.

Skye walked through a phalanx of photographers and tried to ignore the flashing of a million bulbs.  She almost tripped and fell on her face but was caught at the last minute.  She looked up into the face of her purse stealing Lothario Jesse, "Careful" he said "That's how they got rid of Diana."

BLOAP#58: Secrets and Lies

Marjorie remembered the first time she met Zamboni, he was her drycleaner's tailor.  She realized he was something special when she noticed how much care he put into altering her hem.  Granted, she was in the skirt at the time and he was naked but pish tosh, he was still a designing natural.  She invested in him and helped him start his company with the express caveat that he keep his couture line a secret until she debuted it at one of her weddings.

The last thing Gwennifer Topez saw before she fell down  the stairs was Marjories grinning face.

BLOAP#57 Gwennifer

Marjorie took her hat off and shook out her hair, she threw the hat to the bellhop standing nearby and walked into the grand foyer of the hotel.  She was fuming, first Tom Kat had the nerve to announce his wedding was on the same day as hers and now this.  Marjorie pulled the telegram out of her purse and squinted, "Gwennifer Topez to wear Zamboni gown to Film Awards."  Marjorie was furious, honestly what does a woman have to do to keep a secret designer in this town?

James looked up and saw Marjorie headed toward Gwennifer Topez like a heat seeking missile.  He took out his phone to call Skye but thought better of it, poor Skye was one banana peel away from a Marjorie meltdown.  James wondered if this wedding was going to be worth the extra amount of health insurance they were going to have to shell out to deal with Marjorie.  Their receptionist had fractured her ankle trying to run away from Marjorie, his assistant had broken his arm carrying load after load of Eastern artifacts and they had replaced the candy in the kitchen with Prozac.  James put his phone back in his jacket pocket, walked out of the foyer and into the bar, checked his watch and said "Double Sapphire martini please."

BLOAP#56: Eye to Eye

Skye looked at the man sitting next to her in the sedan, he was immaculately dressed and had a piercing gaze which was boring a hole through Skye. "It's taken you a long time to call in that favor Skye, I almost thought you forgot."  he said.  Skye looked at him and smiled "I don't believe that for a minute, so can you help me or not."  The man looked at her closely as he slid next to Skye and clasped her in an iron grip, "Let's discuss" 

BLOAP#55: Botox and Bullsh*t

Whitley Dallas looked at her dear friend and wondered if she was on Botox.  She mentally slapped herself, this is how her years of celebrity, fame, and misfortune had affected her.  In Follywould everyone was a whiz at discussing the same intellectual factoid be it global adoption, Fox news or EColi while they were pondering the extra pounds or Botoxed brow of everyone near them.    When they were kids Zora, Whitley and Skye were like three peas in  a pod.  Whitley was the bold one, Zora was the brilliant planner and Skye, well Skye was the smart one with a weakness for shoes. 

In the third grade Whitley got into trouble for sneaking into the headmistresses office and stealing her secret stash of chocolate.  She was quickly found out and punished by becoming the youngest member of the school's cleaning crew.  Zora and Skye promptly got into trouble too, so they could clean together.  Whitley never forgot that kindness throughout her celebrated career of dealing with liars, sycophants and power brokers.  The three of them had kept each others secrets for years, Whitley wondered if she could trust them with her biggest secret yet.

Zora looked at Whitley and said "So, I want to know is it true that you sleep with a boa constrictor?"

BLOAP#54: Cloak and Chocolate

Skye waited outside the restaurant in the rain cursing.  She was cursing her stupidity at not bringing an umbrella and cursing the cloak and dagger idiocy of her plan.  What's the use of standing outside a restaurant, wet, shivering and feeling like a drowned mouse when one could be inside, dry, comfortable and snacking.

A dark sedan pulled up to the curb and a man in a trenchcoat, hat, glasses and umbrella got out.  He walked straight up to Skye and said "Come with me."  Quicker than a skirt coming off at prom night Skye was shuffled into the car and whisked away.

Zora looked at Whitley who was on her second chocolate mousse and said "Well, for a washed up, pill popping, hissy fit throwing, hasbian you sure can put away some dessert!"

BLOAP#53: Houston we have a problem

Zora looked at her friend across the table and shook her head.  Whitley Dallas, the infamous, singer, songwriter and bon vivant looked like death on a stick.  Whitley's eyes were red, her shoulders skeletal , her hair thin and she looked like she'd finally given up on that pesky eating habit.  Zora sighed, her old friend had been crucified in the press, her alleged vitamin abuse, her alleged lesbian affairs, her histrionic behavior topped off by the very public demise of her marriage to music icon Tommy Tan.  Hell it was enough to try Mother Theresa's patience.

"Here honey eat something, you look like a stiff breeze will carry you away." Zora said as she pushed a buttered roll at her old friend.  Whitley laughed, "Baby, you sure ain't from Follywould, bread is a felony and hell bread with butter on it is a capital offense!"  Zora laughed too "Well, fart Follywould, where all the men are plastic and all the women are hungry, heck if I wanted all that drama I would have stayed in high school"